**How to Rebuild Your Confidence After a Career Break. **
Losing confidence after a career break is more common than you could think, it's natural .
You took a break. Maybe it was maternity leave. Maybe you stayed at home to raise your child/children, looked after your parent, moved country or needed time to heal. Whatever could be the reason, life needed you somewhere else for a while and you were there. I say this because I have lived some of the experiences.
Comes a time you are thinking about returning to work after a career break. You feel excited. And then a critical inner voice shows up and asks, “Can I still do this?” If you hear that voice, please know you are not alone. I hear it from women who have led team and built careers they were proud of. It has very little to do with how capable you are. It mostly comes from being away from a familiar setting for a while.
I have been a confidence and mindset coach for women for more than ten years, working with clients in the UK, India and the UAE. Here is something I see again and again. The most capable women often feel this doubt the most. They are used to doing things well, so when doubt comes, it not only feels strange but threatening. And because it feels strange and threatening, it feels bigger and intense than it is in actuality.
**Returning to work after a break and the story we tell ourselves **
When a client visit who has been away from work for quite a while. We start by looking at two things. What really happened and what story she has added on top. The latter is the most interesting part that unfolds many things.
What really happened is usually quite simple. You were away from paid work for a few years. Some systems have changed. You may have lost touch with a few people. However, the story is much intense. “I am far too behind to catch up”. “No one will take me seriously”. “I have forgotten how to be the one who I was”. But look closely. None of these are facts. They are conclusions and most of them are drawn without proper evidence, and supported by self-doubt.
The facts usually lead to simple next steps. Learn a new system. Get back in touch with a few people who could be helpful to support you in this journey. Refresh a skill. You can do that all. The story only tells you to stay where you are. So the first step is to notice which one you are listening to.
Self-doubt after a career break and what to reconsider first
Doubt is not a stop sign. It’s simply information. So before you believe it, ask a few questions. Here are some things I gently ask women to look again.
Was your break really empty? And the response is NO. And truly speaking it is hardly ever. If you ran a home, moved countries, cared for someone or helped a child through school, you were doing something and that is you were planning, solving problems and staying calm under pressure every day. Those are real skills. Pause, and look at it. Companies hire senior people for these skills. What you were missing was – you didn’t have a job title while you were using them.
Who are you comparing yourself with ? Very often it’s a colleague who never took a break, or the younger you at her busiest. That isn’t a fair comparison, and it doesn’t tell you what you can do now.
How out of date are you, really ? Most things can be learned again in a couple of weeks, or months. Your judgement, the way you deal with people and the way you think did not disappear while you were away.
Whose voice is it? Sometimes the voice sounds like an old boss, a relative, or something someone said years ago. Ask yourself, if that opinion still belongs in your life today. Do they get to have a say first?
**What do you actually want? **Some women go back to the same work. Other find the break changed what matters to them. Both are fine. Confidence grows much faster when you are moving towards something you chose yourself.
**How to rebuild your confidence after a career break **
Confidence doesn’t come back overnight once we have a decision. It comes back slowly, one step at a time. Each time you notice you managed something. It grows a little more.
Start with a list. Write down everything you did during your break, in easy simple words, as if you are writing about a friend. Most women are surprised by the size the list, it is really long that she did not think of earlier. Seeing it on paper helps far more than just telling yourself you are capable.
Listen to how you talk about your break. “I have been at home” and “I spent four years managing a house move and my teenage children’s schooling”, describe the same time. One makes feel smaller, and the other opens a door.
And don’t do it alone, it is so much easier with someone by your side who can see what you can’t see in yourself yet. That might be a friend, a mentor, or a coach.
A few questions to sit with
Take your time and let it flow. There is no right answers, only honest ones.
- What did you learn about yourself while you were away?
- When doubt shows up, what does it say, and where is that coming from?
- What part of your break story you would like to tell differently?
- What would you encourage yourself with, if you trusted yourself a little more?
- Who in your life sees how capable you are right now?
- What would change if you quieten the inner voice?
- What would not change if you let the inner voice lead?
You are not starting over. You are coming back.
You are starting again with more experience than before. The woman going back is not the same woman who left, and she has so much more to offer. Doubt may walk with you for a while, just take the information and do not give the lead to the doubt to decide for you anymore. Let awareness, not trigger decide your action.
If you are ready to rebuild you confidence after a career break and would like some support, I would love to hear from you at innerjourney-with-shanila.com
